a letter

Hey, how are you? I hope you're good. How is yours? Is she fine? I hope so.
I don't know why but last night i dreamt about you. You hug me like you used to in the past. And now I realize, I'm missing you. And I think write a letter for you would be the best idea to make me feel better. Here it is.
I was thinking that when we're getting closer I shouldn't wish to be yours. I know you well. I knew you didn't want it.
And that's true, wasn't it? You went away again. After you left me like that for twice. Turn your back and make me felt so crazy. Can you help me understand? I always try to understanding you. As best as I could. And I did it. I was living my life, moving on from my third broken heart caused by you.
But I keep try to reach you just for knowing how are you, how is your school.
At our second anniversary, I was trying to call you. You didn't answer it. 2 days later someone told me that you've already had your new girlfriend.
It's great, i thought. I knew i was hurt but there's nothing I could do except smiling for your happiness right?
I know It's hard for me, like always. But I also know that I'll be stronger day by day only for you. For everything that you want me to do.
Just be happy for your life okay? I watch you, keep you, everyday forever.
One thing you should've know, I can't be moved only for you. <3

Sincerely
I. S. R.

He.... He was mine. Though he isn't anymore... It's just like.. He was someone that I hug when he was sad or I was.. We were laughing together. Holding each other.
He knew everything about me. I knew everything about him. We fight we broke but we get up together.
He was my angel. Seeing him with someone else is kinda weird but.. Yeah. Here we are. Walking in our own ways. I loved you. That's true.
I'm missing you now. But i've mine and you've yours. Lets start our own new life.
I'll never ever forget you. Thanks. 831

What should I do now?
You let me down
Yes you let me down
Baby you lie to me
Lie on everything that I believe

Should I leave you?
Should I hate you?
No. I can't
It's just too hard to think clearly

I'm not trying to pinch you
But my heart's feeling so blue
I'm trying to start a new day
But you push my dream away

I thougt you were just a boy
Ran to me and begged for cares
I love you
But I just cant be with you like this anymore

a little bit tired

Kamu ga ngerti perasaan aku. Takut. Kamu ga ngerasain! Gmana rasanya dianggep penghancur kehidupan orang lain. Gmana rasanya disalah2in terus sm org lain. Aku cape. Aku ga mau ngerasain lg gmana kesiksanya ky gt. Km ngerti ga sih?? :((
Aku ga tenang, aku ga bsa mikir, aku GA BAHAGIA sekarang. Hhhhhh..
Aku harus gimana atulah. Ya allah bantuin.
Aku ga bisa kaya biasa. Hati aku kaya kepndet gt. Perasaan ak kaya yang terkikis gitu aja. Apa gra2 terlalu takut? Saking traumanya gitu?
There's never a right time to say goodbye. But I dont feel the way I once felt about you. It's not you it's me. We gotta go our seperate ways. We should be apart baby, I just can't do it. -,-

Lets start a new live

Blog, berapa ribu taun nih ga ngepost? There are so many stories you have lost.
Udah ga ada MGRM, aku sempet deket lagi sama....... I cant say his name. Even initial only. Tapi seperti biasa dia slalu tiba2 pergi jadi... Yaudalah gausah dpkirin lagi juga. -,-
Aku udah pindah ke bandung. Sekolah di sman 3. Mulai hidup yg baru. Dan pacaran sm org baru juga.
Muhammad Ramadhan
Orang bandung? Bukaaaan. Rama rama ramaaaa. Yg basket looh. Yg wapres qids.
Hahahaha. Sapa yg nyangka ak bkal jadian sm dia?
Yauda laaah. Da pknya mah sayang we ak mah. Dan emg jadiannya kita tuh aga sedikit menuai tragedi. Hahahaha.
LDR dong? Iaa. Belajar dewasa lah. Rama itu orgny dewasa ternyata. Aku suka. Diaaa cwo yg ga ribet easy going dan pengertian pisaann. Jadi insyaallah kita kuat lah yaa :)
Oke blog, just wish me luck okaay!
Muahmuah. :**
I'm going to start writing again. ;)

test

testestesss

Ak tau ko yg km rasain. Ak ngerti syg. Ak jg sma. Ak tau, ak sayang bgt sm km,km jg pasti tau. Ak tau kmu takut ak ktrgntungn sm km. Ak ngerti. Ak ngerti prasaan takut kmu saat wktu dtg buat bwa aku jauh dari kamu. Ak tau, karna aku juga rasa. Ak ngerti kamu ragu, aku jg sama. Tpi ngbrhntiin in semua skrg juga bkan hal yg tepat syg. Prcya sm aku. Prcya sm km. Prcya sm kta syg. Aku sayang kamu.

UDAH CUKUP LAH SEMUANYA!!!!
SAYA MAH UDA GA BISA TERIMA DIGINIIN LEBIH JAUH LAGI! SORI YA!!!! SELAMAT GOODBYE!

Doa

Ya Allah, maafin saya yg udah ngelakuin hal yg paling ga saya inginkan. Maaf saya udah meledak lagi di depan dia. Maafin saya yg uda ngerusak mood dia. Ya Tuhan, saya mohon, kasih saya kesabaran yg lebih kuat lagi. Kasih saya kesempatan untuk ngebahagiain dia di sisa waktu saya. Saya bener2 pengen dia bahagia Tuhan, pengen Gian bahagia. Tolong kuatin keikhlasan saya mencintai dia ya Allah. Amien.

sakit banget!!

Aku teh SAKIT!! Peduli ga? Ak keluar dr msjid te ga bikin km brtanya2 gt? Atau malah km ma ga tau sama sekali aku keluar masjid da gak peduli?! Aku ga keliatan pulang ga mikir gt km te aku kemana?! Engga da km mah. Leos we pulang seperti biasa. Waktu temen aku bilang aku sakit, km te cemas gak?! Biasa we. Ia kan?! Waktu ak bilang ak te sakit. Emg adit g blg k kmu? Cuma jawab engga terus culang-cileung aja. Ga nanya km te ak kenapa? Sakit apanya. Waktu ak marah km te pergi aja. Ya Allah. Bisa ngebayangin ga perasaan ak te kaya gimana? Akhirnya apa cing wahai pembaca? Saya iktin lg dia trus pas dia di angkot saya bilang. "Ati2 yaa..." padahal tau ga rasa sakit saya te kaya gimana?! Ya Allah, senantiasalah menguatkan hati hamba. Astagfirullah. Mungkin dia te sibuk ya? Harus buru2 pulang. Mgkn dia teh malu klo hrus ngejar2 saya. Saya yang salah. Selalu saya yang salah. Saya te uda bnyk nuntut ya sama dia? Jadi saya harus gmana atuh? Harus pura2 baek2 aj? Ngbales smua sms dia dengan ceria pdhal uda dri kmren dia ngblesnya flat? Uda sya tahan emosi saya dari kemareenn ya Allah.. Sekarang diginiin lg. Saya masih harus sabar juga ya? Saya harus pura2 senyum lg? Saya emang ga mau marah sama dia tapi saya sakit banget. Saya harus gimana atuh? Sakiit bgt. Yaudalah. Just think that you're OK nga.

Km gak tau.

Jujur aj lah, saya ma sakit banget, sedih bgt rasanya. Nyesek bgt d hati teh, nangis jga ud g karuan rupanya. Tpi sya teken smua prasaan2 it. Sya sembunyiin emosi sya di balik senyum palsu, sya smbunyiin airmata sya di balik kata2, cma buat ngjga prasaan km. Kamu ga tau kan luka sebesar ap yg uda km buat? Dan km jg ga tau sbrapa kras sya nymbunyiin itu spya kn g tersinggung. Km ga tau kan? Engga!

EHEM!!

EHEM!! HELLOOO KAMU SADAR GA SEEHH PERASAAN SAYA CAMPUR ADUKNYA KAYA GIMANA?!
arrgghhh...!!!!! gila wei! uda keringet dingin, nahan perasaan biar ga membludak! tarik nafas dalam2 uda. buang perlahan... haaaaaaahhh...
GEEELOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
ga ketahan! %^#@!*^%%(*_^$#**_**^##@@@!@#$%^&
bahasa gila uda pengen keluar...
keep smile udah, makan yupi udah, zzzzzzzzzttt....
-.-
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING INGA SHAFFIRA?! WAKE UP!!!
heh! ajigile! saya cape tau ga?! mau ngeistirahatin seluruh jiwa dan raga!!
ahgfgs rtbgfhdhbzdufygtidbgbgikhjohjpzjdhuyzedgev. ngiiiiiiiiikkkkkkk!!!!!!!!!!
HAHAHAHA!! TOLOL PISAN!!! TAU TOLOOOLLL GAA SEEHH LOOOO?!
ma urang we atuh!! rudet yeuh!! pabalatak hate, jeung raga!!
JUST SHUT UP!! AND WATCH THIS!!!
"HHIIAAAATTT!!! DEEEZZIIIIGGGG!!!!!"
MAMPUS LO NGA!!
BIARIIINNN SAYA MODAARR!!!! DARI PADA CAPE HATE!! PUAS SIAH?!
...............................................................................