Fool

I'm feeling like a fool. Yes that fool, when you try to know the truth and when you've found it the truth is the one that hurts you so bad. I'm sad, i'm hurt but, half of my heart's relieved.
Let me hold you 
For the last time 
It's the last chance to feel again 
But you broke me 
Now I can't feel anything 

When I love you, 
It's so untrue 
I can't even convince myself 
When I'm speaking, 
It's the voice of someone else 

Oh it tears me up 
I try to hold on, but it hurts too much 
I try to forgive, but it's not enough to make it all okay 

You can't play on broken strings 
You can't feel anything that your heart don't want to feel 
I can't tell you something that ain't real 
Oh the truth hurts and lies worse 
How can I give anymore 
When I love you a little less than before 
Broken Strings-James Morrison

Whatever we've been through, your smile when you're looking at my scrapbook for you. When you wear that grey sweater and stay beside me. When I whisper jokes and you laugh, all those sacrifices for you, those waits. The hopes, of you having feelings to me. It should be waste away from now on.

If only I didn't care about you. IF ONLY I didn't ask what's wrong with you. If only I didnt ask, whom you love.

I: Jahaaaaaat, ga boleh suka sama cewe laaiiiiin. :(
R: Udah terlanjur suka. Gimana atuh?
I: Suka sama siapa atuh? P? T? M? Y? Y kan udah punya pacar? Atau U? Suka sama siapaaa? :(((
R: siapa yaaa? Kepo.
I: care tau! Suka sama temen sekelas ya? Pasti gara2 maen ke villa itu ya? :(
R: Iya, ngga ko udah lama.

You know what? I think I was like a donkey, or maybe I am.. It's not gonna change my feelings for you. It will always be the same. I love you, I still and will always be. It is not the first time you hurt me but still i cant deny that it hurts me. Why? Because of what we've been through last days, weeks and months.I'm sorry it was all my fault. I'm sorry. Maybe I should be back to the girl who miserably love you while you dont even care and see. Not being the one who use to hang out with you, who hold your hands when watching a movie. It was all my fault.

Sometimes I'm just confused. Why God keep this feeling for you very well in my heart? What does He want? What fate will He faces me with? Why???? Why should I love you this much?

Late, Happy birthday Mate. From your secret lover.