Insecure

Sometimes I envy them. Has a romantic man, has a beautifully written story of their dates.
But the next time, I wonder. .Why does it feel so good?
Because I compare it with my awful time with you. Then I change it. I close those sad books and open the happy one.
Then I realize there's nothing can be better than you, to be mine. Your ways to make me happy and to make me sad, it is all because I love you so much.
If I stay away from you, it's not because I hate you. It's because I'm afraid you'll leave me someday. And I should try to make it easy from now, letting you go, and be good with no more you beside me. I'm afraid I will love you more while you leave me more.
Like this time, I dont know why but.. It seems like you're busier. And now you make your wants as your priority. Not me anymore. And you seems like to forget to say sorry while you know that I hate of being fake-hoped.
Maybe I'm insecure but I just hope you understand me more.