Insecure

Sometimes I envy them. Has a romantic man, has a beautifully written story of their dates.
But the next time, I wonder. .Why does it feel so good?
Because I compare it with my awful time with you. Then I change it. I close those sad books and open the happy one.
Then I realize there's nothing can be better than you, to be mine. Your ways to make me happy and to make me sad, it is all because I love you so much.
If I stay away from you, it's not because I hate you. It's because I'm afraid you'll leave me someday. And I should try to make it easy from now, letting you go, and be good with no more you beside me. I'm afraid I will love you more while you leave me more.
Like this time, I dont know why but.. It seems like you're busier. And now you make your wants as your priority. Not me anymore. And you seems like to forget to say sorry while you know that I hate of being fake-hoped.
Maybe I'm insecure but I just hope you understand me more.

Feel it now

There will come that time, when you should stop loving someone.
Not because they stop loving you.
It's because you realize that they will be more happy if we let them go.
Sometimes, the one who you love the most is the one who hurt you the most.

No String Attached

No String Attached
It was so you and me, wasn't it?
I was like Adam, who's fallen in love with you. And you're like Emma the I-dont-have-affectionate. We never meant it to be like love growing in our hearts. But, you do feel something. That's why you leave. For like, five or six times? And me like. Well fine if you want it. We hang out, I ask you and you come. We did like... Yeaah. Having relationship 3 years ago but it only last 1 month and you left with no reason, everybody knows that. And we still keep contact even I had a boyfriend like... Yeah no string attached. But it was totally happening at the middle of 2010. We went to the movie, doing that things, had a cute nickname. I had started all and you followed me. But soon you realized that all of these things are wrong. And you left. Again. You move here now. And we start seeing each other again. The hang outs. But the last hangout, we did something wrong again. Saw a movie and I was like holding your hand but. You went again. I dont know how's your feeling about me. But I do love you. We never picked up whom we're in love with.
Hope someday you will miss me and try to find me like Emma try to find the lost Adam

2012

It's 2012 now and the first day of the new year had ruined by a problem. They never appriciate what I've given to him. Like you know I'm trying to change now I've 50% changed. I did everything to help him. Yet they still make count of my bullshit tweet. I know who's behind all of this. I'm hurt like hell you know? But you just dont understand. But whatever. I dont love Mr. C anyway. My feeling has gone, dont blame me. I dont care. I can manage the hurt-attack. The only thing I still cannot do is. Manage my heartbeat when Mr.B reply my messages. Oh my god. I'm still and so in love with him. ({})